KUL-SIN-KUL-SIN-LHR

Flying to the UK today, and head off to KLIA to get my flight to Singapore and then a connection to the UK.

All seems to be going well and we take off on time to Singapore – I have a connecting flight to the UK, but unfortunately there’s a long layover at Changi – though as I am flying business class, I can use the lounge and get pissed on free champagne and fat on free cheese.

As we begin to land in Changi there's bad weather – and just as we are about to touch down, the plane pulls up almost vertically and I assume that the pilot couldn’t land this time, and I was expecting him to bring the plane about and try again. I was actually a bit scared, and the plane was shaking as we climbed back up into the sky. The pilot didn't say anything for a while and then announced that due to ‘poor visibility’ we were not able to land in Singapore, and were returning the Kuala Lumpur to refuel so we could try again… What? He assured us that the ground staff were prepped and would have more information about getting back to Singapore, so that was OK.

Not convinced, I called one of the crew over and told her I had a connecting flight, and she just said that they’d get everyone with connecting flights onto the next flight to Singapore, and with any luck we’d make our flights… though she wasn’t very convincing and said, almost as a ‘oh, by the way’, that I might not make it. Hmm. I then asked her about luggage, and I needed to get my stuff off the plane, collecting at Lost Luggage etc. I’d switched of by this point, and just knew I’d never see my bags again. Stupidly, the head cabin crew bloke sing-songed our arrival back into KL with ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Kuala Lumpur International Airport – we hope you had a pleasant flight and you enjoy your stay here’

What the fuck!?

After we got into the gate, there was a lot of chaos and confusion with the ‘prepped’ ground staff – they hadn’t a clue what was going on, but it did appear that our flight would just refuel and head back to Singapore in another 30 minutes, so I was likely to get my UK flight after all. As we re-landed back in Singapore, I looked out of the window at the point we went up in the air again, and we were literally 1 metre off the ground – I reckon that there was either another plane on the runway, or another one coming in at the same time, but I guess I’ll never know.

I was just a bit annoyed that I’d had my BA club lounge experience shortened as my UK flight was due to take off only an hour from the time we actually landed…Bastards.

13 hours later, we land in Heathrow, cold and tired, but it was great to be back home: now to get into that Christmas spirit!

Mojitos, Martinis, Mission Impossible

I'm heading over to meet Adrian, Edwin and Elynn to go to this bar called Dirty Nelly’s for a Groupon deal where you get to drink as many mojitos or martinis that you can and have unlimited barbequed food – sounded like it’d be pretty messy…It was advertised as halal, but judging by the pictures of pigs, sausages and ribs on the wall, I somewhat doubted it...

After, I head over to Times Square with Arif for bowling, archery and to watch Mission Impossible in this shopping centre called Times Square: not keen on this one so much, as there seemed to be no air in there, just a stench of fried food.

Still, the bowling and archery were fun...

It's "Secret" Santa - Clue Is In The Name...

I am taking the team out for lunch and the Secret Santa present exchange – and they really don’t get it at all. The whole idea of a ‘Secret Santa’ is exactly that – the gifts are supposed to be anonymous. So half the team roll up with their gifts, and proudly announce them when putting on the pile of other 'secret’ gifts.

Oh well.

I wasn't sure of what my gift was at first - it looked and felt like a stale French baguette, but actually turned out to be a bread knife disguised as a baguette.

Never Heard Of Mince Pies Or Wrapping Paper?

It’s some Sultan’s birthday today and that means I have a day ‘off’ work. There are couple of issues that  I need to be online for, so can't completely relax. However, I do need to get a secret Santa gift for someone at work, so I decide to head into town…only to find that all roads leading to Kuala Lumpur are blocked with traffic. Looks like everyone else had the same idea, so I decide (after trying to get into the city via Bangsar and failing) to head out of town to 1-Utama. I buy some festive treats – including mince pies from M&S for the office: I can’t believe no-one there has ever heard of them – a strange fact seeing as they are all far too enthusiastic about everything Christmas over here.

I asked for wrapping paper in M&S for my secret Santa gift, but the checkout girl didn’t know where they kept is – it was either round the corner towards ladies bras, or by the front door. She asked one of her colleagues but it all got too dramatic, as he didn’t even know what wrapping paper was. Sigh.

There was no paper by the bras or the front door, so I left with only my mince pies.

I got pissed off in this other shop that was charging 100MYR for a couple of jigsaws but didn’t have a properly working Visa machine: I get really annoyed about these sorts of things. The extremely unattractive shop assistant keyed in everything to the register, took my card and then just said, matter of factly, ‘oh we can’t take cards, we don’t have a working machine’

Well fuck off then, oh, and Merry Christmas.

Bear Buddys And Films

It's a long weekend this weekend, so I head to town (Pavilion) where I managed to take some photos of the United Bear Buddy exhibition, promoting living together in harmony. 

I meet up with a friend to go and see a film here too, but it was so packed, with only a few seats left in each film, we decided to head over to Cap Square and watch three instead in relative peace: this place is smack in the centre of town, surrounded but a bustling local Malay area, but is completely deserted. Being the antisocial git that I can be, I rather liked the fact we had the whole place (virtually) to ourselves.

We watched New Year’s Eve, Arthur Christmas and the new Twilight one. Only the first one was worth bothering with really… in one of the interludes between the film-athon, we had coffee and beer in a really old, original café adjoining a 1930s theatre, called Coliseum. the pace hadn’t been redecorated since what looked like the 1930s either, and it was lovely. I fear that when the 100-year-old owner, who served us, pops his clogs, that’ll signify the dead knell for this place too…

Poisonous Sweat

It’s along weekend and I relax in the morning at Lake Titiwangsa after going to the gym for a workout. I probably sweated more whilst sunbathing…

Whilst lying there watching the various families and friends boating on the lake, I and finding myself swatting my exposed body as I can feel little bites every so often, and I look around me and realise I have sat on an ants nest! I did get the last laugh though, as they’d bite me and my sweat is so toxic from alcohol, they instantly die – that or drown in the sweat pouring off me! 

Didn't We Have A Lover-ly Time The Day We Went To Pangkor

Up for breakfast (not nice – lukewarm buffet, flies everywhere) and then a walk around the resort grounds before checking out and heading to the ferry for Pangkor. The resort in nice – it just needs a clean up and some care: it seems to be going to ruin and would probably benefit form a large corporation hotel chain taking it over… After a game of pool we left and headed back to Lumut and to a waiting ferry.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the weather changed as we approached the island, so we were somewhat limited as to what we could do. Easy option would have been to stay on the ferry, return to Lumut and buy a fridge magnet to say I’d been there (seeing as lying on a beach was probably out of the question). But as we disembarked, we noticed a load of car hire places and thought that would be a good idea. The island is so small; we’d be able to see the whole place in a few hours. Car hiring here is nothing like the UK… basically you hand over your cash and they give you the keys to some beat up old banger – without checking anything like whether you can actually drive or not. Oh well – actually it was OK as the roads are tiny, no-one can go fast, so it’s just a bit like driving a big dodgem car round a track really.

We stopped off at most interesting places around the island – starting at the Dutch Fort, and this rock with an inscription on it which was supposed to be done when a family’s children had gone missing – suspected to have been eaten by a tiger. To be honest, these were probably the only bits of interest – though the beaches were ok, quite pretty and not spoiled by huge developments.

We had lunch at this local hawker stall on the beach (delicious) but I wanted to head back to the steamed fish place for dinner tonight before heading home, so didn’t want to eat too much.

Arif drove on the island, giving me rest (well, I had driven 350 km yesterday) but some of the roads were a lot less developed than ones I was used to in KL – and that’s saying something – and they were also really steep, either up or down, and were just wide enough to get 2 cars up/down. There was a point where I wanted to take over, but I let him carry on. Then we got stuck behind this car full of Chinese people, who were so nervous about the roads, they were going slower than a snail. Irritating.

Luckily they stopped in the middle of the road to let us pass and I resisted the temptation to lean out of the window and hurl some advise at them – so on we went…at about 5 miles per hour! Oh well, we were not in any hurry, but to be honest, without the sun shining, it was a bit dull on this island, so I was OK if we made our way back to the mainland: it was a long drive ahead and I had forgotten to pack my contact lenses, so I wanted to be on the road whilst it was still light.

Stopping to collect a few fridge magnets we got in line for the ferry (actually we pushed our way to the front but no one stopped us!) and about forty minutes later, we were back on the peninsular mainland and driving home – in the dark, without contact lenses. 

Luckily I had my glasses on me… and even tough they are really old, they at least allow me to see where I am going.. just.

Lumut

I get a message from Arif who suggests driving up to one of the islands off the West Coast, Pangkor (well, to Lumut first and then either get the ferry that night, or stay over and get an early one to spend the day on the island.

We are on the highway by about 6.30pm heading to Lumut. The drive is easy and I get there in about 2.5 hours (average speed 150 km/h!) – unfortunately we have missed the last ferry to the island, so we drive around the mainland town (very busy) before parking and wandering about to see if there are any reasonable places to stay. One place looked promising, but the only room available was a VIP suite at around 900MYR – err, no.

We look at Agoda and find this place about 25 km away – the Damai Laut Swiss Garden resort and reserve a room there (it was at least a lot better than the other more local places nearby, which I found surprising seeing as this was probably a tourist hot spot). We’d noticed a steamed fish restaurant (Ikan Bakar Lumut) on the way into Lumut town, and we had to pass it to get to the Swiss Garden resort, so we stopped to try the seafood and fish there – it was completely delicious (except the calamari, which were huge and a bit greasy) and I loved the fact the drinks came in these huge tankers!

Food over, we headed to the hotel and checked in – initially there was a bit of a kerfuffle as they couldn't find the booking, but I had faith in Agoda’s system and new it would be somewhere in their system. This bunch of very annoying Chinese people in front of me, making such a fuss and asking ridiculous questions, were irritating me. They were asking things like ‘is there bed linen’ and checking, double-checking and triple checking that there were beds in the room. Have they never stayed in a hotel? Because they were fussing, the clerk serving me kept trying to help too – I felt like shouting at them just to get out, but they finally finished fussing and we were given our keys.

Steamboat... Meat, Vegetables And Flubbery Stuff

I have agreed to meet my friend Keith for dinner tonight in a place called Shabu Shabu in Puchong – a steamboat restaurant that you pay one price and can eat as much as you like. Even better is that it’s like one of those sushi places where you just sit and the food come to you on a conveyor belt!

It was amusing watching the food roll past your eyes – each dish that came was preceded with a glass containing a picture of what the food would look like cooked, and a description – pork ball, quail egg, gizzard, flubbery blubbery stuff… I gave the latter a miss (it was pork fat, but not crispy)

Smart Tunnel

It’s a public holiday today and I need a day off to recover from the weekend! I drive into town this morning via the Smart Tunnel – an underground road that doubles up to a tunnel that take the rainwater away in the event of severe flooding – it’s a good idea, but I wonder how often it’s actually used: and I did wonder how it worked with the electric that lights up the place… 

A Night In Patong

Having rescued our money from the randomly-changing-combination-numbers safe, we take a taxi to the nearby Patong town to explore the nightlife. We head for this area called Paradise – a sort of hotel complex with a load of bars on the street similar to those in Bangkok, but a lot tamer. 

And nothing like Paradise by any stitch of any imagination.

We have a drink in one, next door to one with a couple of lady boy staff (not brave enough to sit in that one!). It was still early so we head from there to the busier part of town for coffee to pick me up and a walk along the crowded streets looking at all the odd sights – lots of caged dancers that I couldn’t tell if they were men or women (probably the former, well at least at one point they were, i.e. at birth). We manager to find a halal Arabic fish place (nice) and watch the sights of the street workers trying to get trade and business from the tourists. One was particularly persistent, grabbing people's nipples to get their attention!

After dinner we head briefly back to Paradise area, but it’s still really quiet, so after a cocktail or 2 that contained very little alcohol, we head back to the hotel.

Bangkok's Patpong area is far wilder...

A Day In Phuket

Up early to see the sun on the balcony and then breakfast before heading to the beach and to our sun loungers that would be our home for the next few hours. It was paradise, spending time in the sea (and playing about in the terrifically strong waves that stole my ring) and bathing in the sun. Bliss!

At one point we heard this screaming and looked up to see this woman being lifted into the air by a water parachute thing, which was really funny: all you could hear was her screams getting more feint as she is whisked away into the sky!

Just after lunchtime we decide to head to the nearest town and take a walk there up and down these steep hills, sweating like pigs (pun) before trying to find somewhere to eat halal food… not an easy thing to find, which was a bit weird considering about 35% of the population are Muslim. We stop for a coffee at this small café and coffee and beer later, we ask the staff where to fond somewhere to eat that was appropriate. Luckily there was a place that was apparently nearby, so we wander off again in search of blessed food. Thankfully we found it quite quickly, which was a good thing, as I was starving (the beer had helped!)

We treated our tired legs to a massage in a place that had been recommended by the restaurant staff over the road, and expended our initial 30 minutes of legs bliss to a full hour. Mmm.

Legs and feet fully refreshed, we decide to walk back to the hotel along the beach (now sunset) and freshen up before heading out for an evening in Patong. Before we were able to do that, however, we had to wait for the man to come open the safe: the numbers had apparently randomly changed.

Made in China I suspect...

Non Smoking Flight

Finally we are boarding flight AK808 to Phuket, but as we had not paid for seat allocation, we were not sitting together. The seats next to me were empty and I thought I'd be able to stretch to during the journey and looked smugly around the plane at my fellow cramped passengers... but then this family get on with a very small grisly monster child – damn. Still it was only an hour or so, and I had my iPod.

Time to fly!

Or so I thought – there was a problem with the plane: like the majority of vehicles in Malaysia,  the taillight was broken so we had to wait on the runway until the engineers came to fix it. The hostess made a very lengthy technical announcement about waiting for the engines to cool before the engineers could get near the light to repair, and I imagined we'd be here till the morning. 

Anyway, she was quite humorous,  telling us during the safety announcement that it was a non-smoking flight (unless you went outside!) and simulating taking deep breaths when explaining how to use the oxygen masks!

Finally we were off and on our way to a weekend on the beach!

Trains, Planes And Automobiles. And Queues.

Off to Phuket today – I had forgotten to get a taxi organised, so I ask Xinke to get one of the ones through work, which is a bit of an expensive luxury to be honest… but was good to be whisked away in limo luxury to KL Sentral to get the train the LCCT (I wish they'd rebrand it and stop calling it "Low Cost...") – well, train and then a coach. It’s a lot cheaper than a taxi all the way there, but I’d rather be in a car than train and then changing. I would be OK if I knew how long it would all take, especially as I don’t like rushing at airports.

Anyway, the relatively decent train journey and coach are in fact better as you don’t have to leave your chances to the traffic, so was good in the end.

We get to the scummy LCCT really early and after food in a fly ridden place selling chicken rice, I stand in the long queue to drop my checked baggage in. What I hate about all this is that Air Asia make it so easy for you to check in online or use the kiosks etc, and then make it very hideous to drop a bag off – and the queue is immobile (not helped by some twat at the front arguing with the ground staff) before someone behind me spots the fact the ‘1 bag only’ queue is empty – so we all get out of the stationary line and I leave my bags there. I head to through immigration (amazingly smooth) before Arif walks off and says something about needing to get his documents verified. 

What?

Apparently after you quickly check in online and print your boarding pass in the comfort of your own home etc, you then need to queue up in a long line to get someone to check your passport and travel documents. Erm, isn’t that what checking in at a desk is supposed to do? Why bother doing it all yourself if, at the airport, you need to basically check in again. Fucking Pointless.

He did say that if you were late you didn’t need to get your documents checked. 

What?

It would have been quicker and less queuing to just check in manually in the first place! Oh well, we were through everything and all we had to do was wait the 2 hours now for our flight.

Which was late.

Grr.

Almost A Phuck Up

I'd made plans to go to Phuket this weekend a long time ago, but with various other commitments, I had to change the flight dates to this weekend. I hadn't booked the hotel at the same time and was doing that tonight. Just as I sent a note to the hotel about getting a transfer, I copied the flight details from the booking confirmation and then realised that it was last weeks’ dates… I scrambled though my emails to make sure that I had actually changed the flight... 

Phew. I had!

That would have been an almightily Phuck-up!