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| May-Not-Bank |
With my visa sorted out I am now able to open a local bank account, so I will be able to get my allowances paid in a local currency and avoid exchange charges, and also to be able to book cinema tickets online (for some reason, you need a Malaysian credit card to do this, and not just any old credit card).
Knowing how things work here, I do a bit of ground work first, finding out exactly what you need to do to get an account opened – and from all my sources, the same answer: a passport (with work visa), proof of local address, proof of work, proof of income and a minimum of 500RM. So I arm myself with all the ID I can muster, my passport (with work visa), 500RM and make my way down to the local Maybank branch in Mont Kiara to open an account.
I am seen by 憶雯 (Gertrude) and say that I want to open an account and she looks me up and down and asks what type of account I want to have – listing about ten different ones, with their differences, without taking a breath.
“Umm, a current account with online access please?” I reply.
Nodding profusely she demands to see my passport and eagerly looks for the visa, looking almost disappointed when she finds it, but then adds “ah, you must have at least 6 months left on your visa to be able to apply” and hands the passport back.
“Umm, the visa expires in October 2011 – there’s a year left on it…?”
Then she demands to see proof of my address, income and employer, which I hand over to her and after scrutinising them closely, she then scrutinises me again and says that I need to have a deposit of at least 1000RM. I was told that 500RM would be enough, but I had the foresight to double that.
“Is cash OK?” I reply.
Narrowing her eyes at me she then says that I cannot have an account at Maybank without a personal reference from someone who has banked with them for more than a year.
“What?”
She’s happy now – she got me. She quickly repeats it and says once I have got that, I need to apply online for the account and come back 3 days after I have applied, with all the evidence again – including this new requirement of a personal recommendation – and she will review the application and make a decision.
“Thank you very much,” I reply to her face. “Fuck you, Maybank, and your ridiculousness, I’ll not be giving you any of my business” is what I am thinking inside. Anyway, I get back home and decide to apply online, as I am not easily beaten and I almost want to just open an account and keep 1RM in it forever just to piss them off. What the buggery bollocks has my religion got to do with anything? Or my marital status? Or my height?
After lying through the application form (I am a 6 foot 5, married Buddhist earning more than 50000RM a month) I am accepted by Maybank as a customer, and I should pop into my branch to complete the process.
No mention at all of any personal recommendation: you were talking bollocks, Gertrude.
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