Fire! Shit!!

As I am leaving for work this morning the apartment fire alarms go off, and I assume it was a drill and hoped that the place wasn’t ablaze, however, I didn’t get an letter to say that they were testing the evacuation, nor was there a note in the lobby area to warn about this, so I did begin to wonder. Anyway, I press the lift button and then think that perhaps I oughtn’t to use the lifts whilst the alarms are sounding, just in case, so I make my way down the emergency stairs…

By the time I get to the 15th floor, I am sweating like a pig and recall something that the management office said about the fire exits doors – they were one-way: once inside the stairwell, you were not able to get out back into the main building. I hoped this wasn’t true – at least not until I got down to the lobby floor, as I didn’t fancy being trapped inside the (deserted) fire exit stairwell amongst the building debris, cockroaches and human excrement.

Yes, human shit.

On the 5th floor fire exit stairwell there was a pile of turd on the stairs with scrunched up newspaper around it with shit smears on it. The dirty bastards.

Now I really hoped that I could get out on the lobby floor (indeed access to the internal floors was not possible). Thankfully the lobby fire door was propped open and I could escape…I really did not relish the prospect of being trapped in the stairwell for the whole day before someone opened the doors.

Phew. 

Or Poo, whatever…