Total Effing Luxury

After having a delicious mocktail in reception (would have been better with a large vodka in it), I am taken to my room. I was under the impression that when I booked, I’d have a suite opening out onto the beach, so when I was led upstairs to the fifth floor, I was thinking they’d put me in the wrong room... Until I opened the door…

The room was actually a suite and overlooked the beach and the sea, complete with balcony and outdoor jacuzzi! It was completely luxurious, and huge: a dressing room, rain room, bath that can fit a small family of Indonesians in, lounge area, huge bed and an office area. I usher the concierge out – whose name I don’t catch as he’s got a terrible speech impediment and I didn’t like to ask him to repeat himself, and open up the balcony to lie on the lounger and watch the sun go down with a huge glass of wine.

After sundown, I rummage about in the bathroom (of course) to see what products were there for me to use and steal - as well as the usual culprits, there was also this lovely smelling chocolate and mandarin soap and a delicious matching lip balm. I wonder how many calories there are in chocolate orange lip balm?

I feel instantly relaxed and completely marvellous. I feel that I should be going out and making the most of the island, but to be honest, I am actually quite happy to sit here and chill for the evening and get room service: after all, it was a luxurious suite that I was in!