Aircrar-Safey

I'm on the way for a weekend away in Penang, on board a tiny plane. I have to stop myself from giggling (behind my hand, of course) when the hostess, who the size of a pencil (bitch), does the safety announcement. It reminds me of a Pam-Ann sketch:

(In one breath)

"Please-passenger-this-is-reminer-of-safey-on-aircrar-please-to-review-the-aircrar-safey-car-and-wan-remin-passenger-abou-brace-poseeon-when-hear-insrucion-"brace-brace!" an-you-mus-use-sea-bell-please-recommen-you-keep-sea-bell-fasen-all-time-in-case-of-unexpeck-turbulen-open sea-bell-lie-this-an-lock-lie-this-an-adjus-lie-this-passenger-mus-comply-wih-lighing-signs-and-crew-member-insrucions-here-is-location-of-emergensi-exi-and-emergensi-floor-lighing-in-eeven-of-drop-oxygen-mas-will-fall-from-above-use-like-this-do-yourself-before-chilren-or-anyone-else-life-bell-is-nearby-plea-fine-in-emergensi-passenger-no-o-smoke-on-boar-inclue-ing-toilet-and-no-tamper-wih-or-disable-lavaory-smoke-detecor-plea-pu-luggage-under-sea-or-in-up-comparmen-return-foldin-tray-and-sea-backs-uprigh-posion-an-turn-off-all-elecron-device-if-an-emergency-happen-once-airborne-fligh-attenan-are-train-calmly-brief-passenger-wih-emergensi-procedure-welcome-journey"

But being a seasoned traveller, I get the gist.