September 11, 2011

Bottom Cushion For Flotation


I am off to China (Beijing and Tianjin) with Adrian and Edwin and we have chose to fly Air China – never done that before – and probably won’t do it again… 

The plane is really old, with an air of the 1970s about it. The seats are really tiny and I am sat in the aisle (thankfully, especially as I have a dodgy stomach) next to a man that thinks its acceptable to make guttural snorting sounds throughout the journey. I would have put the headphones on, only there aren’t any: you are given a stethoscope to use as a headset to listen to the audio of the Chinese film being shown. I revert to using my iPod.

I am looking around the seating area, trying to marry up the Chinese characters with the English equivalent, and no matter how you dress it up “Fasten Seat Belt While Seated Use Bottom Cushion For Flotation” doesn’t instil faith in the aircraft safety system. 

Where are the life jackets?

The flight is six hours long – and within the first 30 minutes, my arse is hurting: this is going to be a long journey… At least they served alcohol – well, one can of Nan Jing beer anyway. I needed the loo towards the end and waited for the queue to disappear before I attempted to empty my bowels – only to find that the minute I’d locked the door, someone was knocking on it to get it! 

You’ll have to wait. When I left, I got this acid stare and very disapproving look from the person who had probably been trying to get in: and that was before he actually went inside…

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