Woke up feeling like shit today – and didn’t get into the office till about 9 and just felt horrendous all day: that’ll teach me to eat nothing but spicy peas and soups for dinner! My stomach feels really bloated and I know that I am going to need a diarrhoeary poo, which fills me with complete dread, as the toilets in the office are an abomination: they are shared with the rest of the building's occupants, and despite being cleaned almost every time I want to go, they stink.
And there’s a bit of a cultural difference: 1 cubicle is an elephant’s foot, and all the others have no loo paper, as the method for cleaning yourself after is to use your (left) hand and the hose next to the loo. As a consequence, all three cubicles are swimming in bum-wash water and I don’t want to touch anything as it just seems a bit grubby.
Now I appreciate why the custom is not to shake hands with the left hand (it’s the hand you are supposed to clean yourself with).
Anyway, I find some kitchen towel and hope that I don’t block the drainage system up, as I cannot hold on any longer. No more spicy peas for me for a while! I struggle through the day, feeling a bit queasy and get a headache about 5 pm, so decide to go home and do some sorting out: I need to get my visa stuff done and get some passport photos done: and it’s the old fashioned way – in a photo shop with huge flash bulbs, a selection of back drops and a camera crew (well, not really) - where was the makeup artist!?
I have a great big chocolate cake in Starbucks and immediately feel a lot better – it did have bananas in it, so it wasn’t all that bad, and I do go to the gym afterwards for a while, so I don’t feel too bad about eating lard.
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